Humans: can't live without em.

I can't help but constantly have this my-life-is-on-the-verge-of-starting feeling. Why is it that we always look toward that next step as being the start of our lives? I've been living for 28 (and a half) years, yet just now, I'm looking at my life as if I'm a maturing fetus still.

A new apartment, a possible push through the door of design, freedom, indebtedness, a concrete job description at work. These are all things that matter more in my life than should, I suppose. I don't know about the idea that someone's life is made up of a conglomeration of all their external stimuli. Really, none of the aforementioned things for which I yearn make me me. I don't really know how to quantify one's self, however, so I suppose that's the best I have as of yet.

Is someone best summed up based on their work habits or their personal relationships? How long into a friendship/relationship do you delve deeper into thoughts, feelings, scars, fears? Why are we all so cynical about other humans? I'd like to have faith (in a non-praise-jesus way) and optimism in human kind, but how does that happen when most of us notice and hear about bad things in the world more often than good?

I propose there be an all-good-news channel on TV. They'll feature award winners, great ideas, heroes/heroines, triumph at the hands of tribulation. Who's comin' with me?

Well, this post turned down some different forks, but I suppose that's what the future is all about anyway (at least the future of NeverDecisive).

I hope all is well and I will talk to you later.

I was supposed to fall asleep early.

I did not, however. Sleep deprivation is not for the weak. Or maybe it is. I don't know anything about it. I'm not purposely staying up late and waking up tired. Really. I just catch this weird second wind when I should be tucking myself in for a bedtime story. Now here I go, creating another reason to stay up late and listen to my alarm for another hour tomorrow morning before I get out of bed. I didn't need to get on the computer at all tonight. What am I expecting an emergency email from someone that can sell me cheap snaps for my wallets? I don't know what this nonsense is all about, but I'm going to force myself to stop now so I can hit the pillow before midnight. I will talk to you later. G'night.